Umm I'm too high to move.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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