I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hell yes lets make some ravioli
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
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I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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