Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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