Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
