I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
