i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
