It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
