Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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