I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
