I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
foreskin is a definite game changer
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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