6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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