whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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