got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize