Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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