this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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