You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
