Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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