i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
