U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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