so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
