Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
