trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just want to make out with him forever
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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