"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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