So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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