I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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