i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
