You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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