For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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