Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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