I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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