After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
