Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
