Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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