Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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