you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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