Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
