If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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