you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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