OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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