Fuck appropriateness.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
