You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
