i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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