he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize