You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
