I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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