I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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