capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize