I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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