What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
