My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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