Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
