i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my sisters under your porch take her home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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