Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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