so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
