And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
