Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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