Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
