I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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