i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
